Update to this chaotic life

I haven’t updated this much and to be honest I think I was avoiding it, so much has gone on within my life and I haven’t handled all of it well. The wedding is off and will no longer happen this year, yes we are still together and very much in love; people never took into consideration what Matt and I wanted, and all of a sudden thought we were rushing into getting married and making their opinions known, so after a long 4 mile walk at 8 o’clock at night we came to the decision to put our wedding off. It still bothers me especially because everything was planned out, we had nothing left to do but order our favors, the day this all happened we had put our deposit down at the reception site, and almost ordered $400 dollars of personalized wedding favors.

I want to be married to Matt more than anything right now, and with my brothers deployment coming up so quickly I wanted to make sure it happened before he left, now it looks like we won’t be getting married until 2013, at least nobody can say we are rushing then. I still haven’t figured out the proper etiquette of letting people know we aren’t getting married, especially our guest from out of town.

So for the last nine weeks I have been in training at my new job, June 13^th I started working at Empire BlueCross BlueShield, it’s not my dream job but it has benefits, I like most of the people I work with and it’s at least in the health care field which I wanted thanks to nursing school. We are finally done with training August 12^th, the day before my birthday which my brother won’t be here for this year; he’s mobilizing for his deployment for the next few months and won’t be home. I’m not even excited for my birthday this year, there is nothing I really want, except for my new Nikon Camera, which Matt is getting me; I’m so excited for that. I cannot wait to use my new camera when we go to New York City later this month so Matt can see the New York Giant’s training camp and then we are going to go sightseeing and be tourist.

Hope everyone is having a good month, better than my last few ones have been.